Live and Learn

‘If a man is thirsty, he will find a drink’

Cheating! Cheating! Cheating! CHEATING! Dang it, that word can make a person go crazy. It can make a person to kill, burn, cut something off or do the unthinkable. We have all read or seen something weird that has happened on newspapers, or various site of what some partners do to others when caught cheating. Just yesterday there was a case of a Kenyatta University student stabbed by her boyfriend because of relationship sponsoring, anyways, that’s a topic for another day.

In this article, i will speak for both women and men. I am not choosing sides because we all make mistakes. I am just talking from reality. From what happens to everyone’s relationship. 

Ladies have gone through this painful painful experience thinking that the man you are in a relationship with was cheating or they have cheated on you. I confess that from my past relationships I have cheated. Yes, I have and done some dumb shit in my life. Am not proud of it but it is what it is. 

There’s a lot of things that can lead a man or woman to cheat. A lot of women cheat because they are married or are in a relationship with a man who have used sex to coat you, ‘katia you’ and you end up realizing that you are bored as hell and this man lucks mentally, emotionally and spiritually stimulation. 

I have learnt that if you make love to a woman’s mind, her body would follow. If you make a woman to stay emotionally, mentally and spiritually stimulated, her body belongs to you for the rest of her life. But if you are one of them guys that think well, am with you and you are with me, i aint gotta do shit, I ant gonna say shit. We aint gotta talk and because you are my girl and we are in a committed relationship, you aint gonna to cheat. 

Dear men, have you ever heard of someone physically being in bed with you but another man has taken over your woman’s mind, that’s because his having conversations, his making your woman feel like everything she’s doing, her goals, her agendas and everything she’s after, his there to have conversations with her and mentally stimulate her and if you get her mind, her body would follow. That’s some of the motivation behind a woman cheating. 

Some of you will say, “She was a whore, She was looking for an opportunity to be who she is. That is not always the case. It’s not about being a hoodrat, a dirty ass tramp or a slut. Sometimes it just happens. A woman wants a man to make her feel like he is just stimulated by who she is. No one wants to wake up and go to sleep, and just say, am with you and your with me and we are committed.

Some of the things that can make a man cheat. He will say things like, ‘I got married to early, I love you, I like you, am with you and not her and i feel like the chemistry we have is just amazing  and i got into a relationship so fast. Or am a man, am still curious about what her sex feels like, i think she’s sexy, she’s beautiful. Am with you but my mind is still curious about some shit that is outside there. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. But if you think that a home cook meal being beautiful, having this body that’s amazing, the sex is good, the head is good, massages your body. You’ve got all the different things that’s on the check list. None of those things are gonna make a man who’s curious to stay at home. If a man is thirsty, he will find a drink. 

But if you are at home stressed and wondering, why? why? why? why? what have I done? Am i not good enough? It doesn’t help. A lot of times a woman can find herself owning to cheat and she blames herself for what a man decided to do on his own. You cannot stop a man from cheating on you. Even if you tried. You can go above and beyond to try your best to stop this man from making his moves that his gonna decided to make. But you can’t stop him. It doesn’t matter what you look like, it doesn’t matter if you have a flat tummy, muscles or you think you have the sweetest ‘Vijayjay’ because he moans to you, ass up and all that shit in your mind that if i cook like this, i rub his feet, am there for him, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, i got his back, am loyal, am down for him, am this, am that. I f he wants to cheat, his still gonna cheat. It just doesn’t fucking matter. 

Men could sometimes be in a relationship with a woman and their like groupie. By groupies i mean, they cant even believe they pulled this shit off because she’s that fucking bad, that beautiful, that amazing, there are like fans and they find themselves not telling the woman the truth because they can’t believe they have her. Her head maybe horrible, her sex is whack but she will never know because they are scared to be honest to her, they do not want to lose her.

No one wants to be married in bad sex, no one wants to be in a relationship where they have had better sex and better chemistry sexually and then they end up marrying somebody and then it is revealed that she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing or he don’t know what the fuck his doing and you just laying there like, ‘what the hell just happened?’

With the technology this day; the social media. It’s very difficult. How many marriages have ended because of that? How many relationships have ended because he or she forgot to log out of Facebook and you’ve seen that he has this long ass relationship going on with various women; you end up finding out through the DM’s, text messages and even private sessions on snap chat? Then you begin to cry, “why have you been texting with this girl? You have been doing this for so long? “

Our grandparents have been married for over 40/30 years and they did not have social media to contribute  to the dis-function of their marriage. We are growing up in the technology and age where commitment is to a whole other level, other dimension. It’s become more challenging to be in a functioning healthy relationship. Because you’ve so much access to so many different things. It’s become crazy!

That’s the life we live in. People don’t know the meaning of a true relationship anymore. I just keep wondering what the world will when my kids are grown (don’t have kids yet). What will be the definition of love? What love stories will we tell our kids? How will they even learn when all the television, radios, social media is all about terror in relationships?  Am scared but that’s how life is now.

There are people that are depressed, miserable and frustrated right now because their relationship or marriage it ended. They got kids or family and all because of cheating, all because you got caught and go shocked, you have to deal with it. There are many fish in the sea and you will get someone who’s tired of playing those games and you love will be reciprocated.

 

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3 thoughts on “‘If a man is thirsty, he will find a drink’

  1. Great post, loved reading your perspective on this. I currently working on a blog about cheating lol so was good to read someone else’s views on this. Great work 🙂

    Like

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