Live and Learn

Just a Girl and her One night Stand

Did you ever fall in the arms of stranger and spent hot night with him? In this moment you did not make questions, decisions or any moral dilemma. You surrender yourself to him, without thinking what will be tomorrow. Later, if he did not call you , your best friend was with you to collect your pieces. When friends ask you for advice to have sex with unknown guy, you will say her :”Don’t do it immediately. Wait.”  When she do it anyway , and ask you for advice again, you say : “I told you not to do it, forget him now. ” 

My colleague Sonia and I have become so close. She gave me her one night stand experience where everything went wrong but not because of one night stand. It happened because Sonia made decisions with heart, not with mind. 

Sonia met this guy Lameck  in amusement park. She was with friends, drunk and from an abusive relationship. They drunk few beers, make out sessions and she found herself in his bed. After this he did not call her. When they met in the streets on Nairobi, he said he had lost her number. She did not want to get involved again, so she did not give her number again.

After one week, she met him again in a night club. Sonia loves her beer bottle. She got drunk, they went into the car and had another sex. Mistake number two. Even though she knew he won’t call again, she allowed him to repeat the same mistake. They knew nothing about each other only names.

The next weekend, they met at an event, few drinks and she gets easy. They had sex in the bathrooms. Then later he took her to his house. Mistake number three and four.

One day, during a fashion show concert somewhere in Nairobi, Sonia being a lover of fashion she attends with her friends. When the concert was over, she sees Lameck walk out with a girl, she assumes its the girlfriend. Of course they pretended they didn’t  know each other. She walked the other side with her friends. Though she felt jealous and bitter. 

Sonia decided to pay back. During her random nights with Lameck, she had met Lameck’s few friends. So she decides to hook up with one of them, few drinks and they had sex too. Mistake number five. Though the friend told her it’s just sex no strings attached. Sonia did it anyways.When Lameck hard this, he just cut off from her completely. In fact that was the last time they ever saw each other. She learnt a lesson.

My advice 

Guys have nose for easy women. They can smell where is opportunity for fast sex. It doesn’t matter did you sleep with him first or second night, or after few months. If you don’t ask where its going to, especially if you’ve done it many times, don’t get hurt when you see him with another girl. Don’t get hurt when he decided to ghost you. He will respect you for asking. He will know where you stand. So it will either be friend with benefits or relationship. You will not be marked as slut.
If you are able to accept the fact that guys maybe will not call you, you have nothing to lose. You had pleasure and now you can learn something. If he calls you,the better. It means he is interested.
 
When you see friends in tears after one night stand, don’t judge her. Tell her to wait and act with mind. In this way, you send message that you are cool person. You can sleep with him and you will not cry after, but also you will not do it with everyone. You wanted to do it with him. If he doesn’t understand you, he is not for you. You can send him back to his boring girlfriend or to his friends. You don’t have time for him, it was one night stand. 

#LiveandLearn 

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