Live and Learn

To The Girls Who Sleep With Guys Who Have Girlfriends.

Especially to the girls who slept with the guys who used to be mine at some point in life. Am talking about from the time I knew what the word ‘Boyfriend’ means. Yes, now is when I got the courage to reach out;and speak out. You dirty little fuckers!

I don’t know how to talk to you. I’m weirdly scared about approaching the elephant in the room; the thing we all know is going to be brought up.

My basic instincts says to be polite and start with “hi”, but “hi” is casual. Too calm. It’s something we say to other people to make them feel comfortable.And you know what? You don’t deserve to feel comfortable. I do not owe you anything. You are always so full of excuses as to why what went down is not your fault.

“Their relationship was already over long before I came along”

“It just sort of happened”.

“It didn’t mean anything”.

” It’s not like I meant to hurt her”.

“I never knew I felt this way for him until I met him”.

You walk around tossing your weaves or wigs, talking about him to your friends and on twitter, acting like you’re drunk in love. Like your 140 characters are enough to rationalize your behavior. There is no way to convince me that what you did was okay or excusable.

You knew he had a girlfriend. You came in having your own agenda.To ruin a relationship. You with synthetic type of weave! Acting like an expert. Catching feelings like you were the main chick.

The guy that was never yours and who wouldn’t very easily do to you what he did with you. You will never know both sides of the story, nor will you ever know what was truly happening before you entered the picture, with legs spread.

You made a choice. Your excuses are irrelevant.

You had a choice. Going in knowing that you are just the ‘side chick’. Knowing that he still loves her. Acting all jealous and wanting to be called and texted all day everyday. But he preferred to do that to her. Not you! You must be a fool!

But maybe you’re at peace with the consequences. Maybe you’re fine with your choices. 

You are a “hypocrite”. You are responsible for making it too tempting to slut-shame, to hate you. We should be building each other up, not competing for what the other has. You are making competitions where there weren’t any and frankly shouldn’t be any. 

This was not a game of Finders Keepers. And even if we are childish enough to call this a game, you wouldn’t have won because, simply put, you were not there first.

You act like he was some sort of prize to be claimed. You talk about your nights together like they’re out of some novel that would shoot to the top of the best sellers list in the category of erotica.

You spin stories of your relationship talking about how magical it was but all you’re doing is making the reality of being someone’s side piece easier to swallow. You don’t get to romanticize your relationship. You were the other woman. It’s as simple as that. 

You need to own that you did a shitty thing and apologize for it. And not in an “I’m sorry for falling in love,” telenovela kind way. You owe it to us –  the girls who didn’t know it was happening – to not pretend like what you did was acceptable.

The beginning of making amends is admitting that you have made a mistake.

Yes, am writing to get your attention. Yes you. Girls who sleep with guys who have girlfriends.

We want an apology.

We want an acknowledgement that you would never want to go through what we lived through. That there is a bit of regret for what you decided to do in your moment. We want you to admit that you did something bad, specially to us, and own up to it.

If you could at least do that, and do it like an adult, then maybe we could stop waking up from fitful, restless sleeps wanting to slap you across the face.

We’re working towards forgiving you. We aren’t there yet.

But if you apologize, we could be one step closer.

#LiveandLearn

 

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10 thoughts on “To The Girls Who Sleep With Guys Who Have Girlfriends.

  1. Them saying sorry would mean theyd have to admit they did something wrong. Its more about them feeling like they won and she got him, than understanding another woman was hurt and or destroyed by what they helped in facilitating.

    Liked by 1 person

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