I Am Not An ‘I Don’t Give A Fuck’ Kind of Girl.

I’ve always been that girl with a big heart. I care so incredibly. When I love, I fall completely , fully and fearlessly. And when my heart is broken, I forgive, let go and continue loving because that is who I’ll always be.

I believe in big love. I believe in forever relationships

It’s not out of weakness. In fact, sometimes I feel that to love is my greatest strength. Its not because I am fragile or terrified to lose the people and the memories in my life. But it is because I cannot be one of those people who turn off the ‘stop caring’ with a click of a button.

I am not the girl with a fuck it attitude. I cannot say fuck it to love, fuck it to sex and fuck it to relationships.

I have to admit that I have tried to be the ‘cool-chill girls’. The girls who don’t give a fuck about anything and anyone. I turned myself off and let the world eat me. I bit my tongue, I hid my emotions. I pretended not to care. I’d gone stone cold. 

It was a real struggle. It turned me into someone I’m not, a version of myself which was unrecognizable.

I began to see the changes occurring in all aspects of my life: my friendships, my performance at school, and my relationship with family. I felt so distant from my own world. I disconnected myself from everyone, and I found myself alone.  

I then realized being the type of girl who doesn’t give a fuck is even more difficult. It’s no place for a girl with too much of a heart.

I’m strong in my own ways, but I’m sensitive. I think about what other people feel because I feel everything so deeply. 

So I’m here to say; don’t try to change in the face of tough times. Never let the world cheat you from who you truly are, and certainly do not allow anything to turn your soft into something unrecognizable and hard.

I will love without hesitations and regrets because I believe in love. I will show my emotions, cry if I must and yell if I want. And care more that I probably should.

Even if you wear some of the thickest skin, you are not invincible to all of the world’s pain. Nobody is.

I give so many fucks, and I want you to know it’s okay if you do too.

#LiveandLearn

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21 thoughts on “I Am Not An ‘I Don’t Give A Fuck’ Kind of Girl.

  1. bexoxo

    “I will love without hesitations and regrets because I believe in love. I will show my emotions, cry if I must and yell if I want. And care more that I probably should.” -Love this. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. kristinakoti

    It is a great post. Being sensitive and crying doesn’t mean you are weak, quite the opposite. Caring “too much” is no weakness, it’s strength. I love the passion you transmit through your words, so if you would change, you would lose your light!

    Like

    Reply
  3. Ngobesing Romanus

    I’ve enjoyed reading your post. I admire you for your big heart. Only people with big hearts do big things. I encourage you to keep on thinking and doing big. Big things are meant for people like you. You are a star in the making.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. eshinalidoreen Post author

      Oi Romanus, 🙈🙈 why you making me feel this sweet.. thank you so so much. No, my big heart will always be big. That cannot change.

      Appreciated for the peep.

      Like

      Reply
      1. Ngobesing Romanus

        Thank you Doreen. I wanted just to be sure it’s your name. I like to call people by name. Your friend John Were is an author on this site. You will often find his posts here. He writes so well. You can join him to become an author here also. That will give you more exposure. Have a great day.

        Liked by 1 person

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