Lost, alone, sad, confused, depressed, maybe crazy….that doesn’t even begin to explain how he feels. If someone was to ask him to describe how he felt in one word. He wouldn’t be able to answer it.
There are so many feelings that he can’t even explain himself. The words happy, joy, laughter don’t apply to him. He finds no happiness in his life.
Sometimes he feels like he’s the only one who feels miserable every single day. Everyday is a struggle for him. He puts a fake smile to show his friends he’s okay, so they’ll stop asking questions.
He’s become so good at it that it comes naturally now. On the outside, he has a smile on his face, but on the inside, he feels like screaming.He didn’t use to be like this. He used to be a happy boy.
He loved going out to hang out with his friends; he always had a real smile on his face. He felt joy, and he laughed a lot. Who knew his life would change in a single day? He sure didn’t.
Everything after that day went downhill. His relationship with his friends is getting ruined. He would avoid hanging out with them because he was afraid of the things he could do.
Soon after they stopped asking because they knew what his answer would be. They still talk, but they feel distant sometimes.The worst part is, he knows its because of him.
There are times when he gets angry and lash out. He hate when that happens. He loses himself and something else takes over him. He says and does things he doesn’t mean to. When he knows it’s going to happen, he can’t stop it.
He doesn’t know what it is, but it feels like another part of him trying to come out.Like there’s a demon inside him and it’s demanding to get out. When the other part of him takes over, it makes him do things he doesn’t want to do, but he can’t stop it. He has no control over his body.
There are times where he can’t remember what he did, he just get flashes when he sleeps, but they aren’t clear. He ends up finding out from someone else what he did. When that happens, he looks like a liar because he didn’t do it, but they think he just doesn’t want to admit it.
His friends don’t trust him anymore. But he can’t blame them.He doesn’t trust himself either. His afraid to wake up one day and find out he did something horrible.Pushing people always is better than hurting them and regretting it for the rest of his life..
The scariest part is realizing the other part of him might just be the true him.
In response to today’s Daily Prompt: Boarder (He is scared to cross the boarder to be the other being in him).