The Most Life Changing Lessons 2016 Taught Me.

1. Things will get really hard at times, but they will always get better. If they don’t feel like they are, ask for help.

2.If someone treats you poorly it has nothing to do with ‘sensitive’ you. They are the problem. Not you. Oh man, what a beautiful lesson this was. 

3.Home isn’t always where you grew up. For some of us, its not where our relatives are, or its not where we have childhood memories, it’s more of where you find peace.

4.We need to experience toxic relationships to shine a light on the blind spot of our self esteem. The most painful lesson of 2016, but the one I am grateful for. I blamed myself a lot for having a big heart, but not anymore. My big heart might love easily and hard but its a blessing. We need dark people to show us the light. We need to be torn down to rebuild ourselves.

5.Rather than blaming people for staying in tough situations, we should try to show them the way out. Based on lessons number 4, when I felt that it was my fault that I was in a tough spot, I simultaneously felt that I deserved it. This sparked a vicious cycle of feeling unworthy and helpless until I suffered a downward spiral. It took a lot of self reflecting and phone calls to my mother to realize that I had a choice. It’s easy to see this on the outside – “oh if you’re in this bad spot, why don’t you just leave?” But the thing is I felt I couldn’t because I was blamed for being in it in the first place. Many of you won’t really know what I mean until you find yourself in this position because I sure as hell didn’t realize it until this year. But when people started telling me it wasn’t my fault and I was worth more, that is when I took the initiative to leave. I also had to forgive myself for staying for so long – this was crucial. 

6.You can always pack up all your things and you can leave. You’re allowed to be miserable and make a change. You are in complete control over your life. Don’t stay where you feel unappreciated. 

7.Do things before you’re ready. This has been the absolute best thing I did this year were the things I wasn’t ready. Starting a blog and writing my first book ever. If I kept waiting, I would have never done it. I just went for it!! Don’t be scared that you wont do well, if it matters to you, it’s better than you do it and fall than to not do at all.

8.Sometimes your first impressions are right but people will convince you otherwise. In other words, go with your gut. 

9.It’s good to put yourself first as long as you are not putting everyone else last. 

10.Letting go of friendships does not make you a bad friend. 

11.Although we grow frustrated at it, life’s timing is never “off”. I’m a big believer in fate. I know not everyone is. I think we can all agree though in hindsight that the thins we “missed out on” either led us to something better or helped us grow as a person. There’s a silver lining in every hardship. 

12.You’ll find you are much less tired when you do the work that matters to you. 

13.Don’t forget where you came from. Taking in the pain and beauty of 2016 will make for an even better and more hopeful 2017. Cheers to the rest of this year, that’s remaining and to the beginning of a brand new one. 

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A Letter To The Younger Me.

Dear Younger Me,

I love you. I really do.

I’m sorry about all that you went through. You had to learn about how cruel the world is the hard way. You had to realized that not everyone was your friend or liked you. You had to realize getting what you wanted or accomplishing your dreams was never as easy as the movies made it seem.

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The Year 2010

But, you are strong and through it all you kept a smile on your face. Yes, there were some nights when you cried yourself to sleep and wondered why you existed in such a cruel world. And those moments were you never wanted to wake up again and exist in this world.

You made it though. You got through it all, even with your own trials and tribulations that others might have deem irrelevant or not difficult enough. To you, it was as if you were fighting an army all by yourself. You always had God with you, sweetie, at times it may not have felt like it, but He was there.

Are you proud of what we become?

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The Year 2015

I learned to have a good time and not to trust anyone within few minutes of meeting them. Our trust and respect is valuable, we can’t just give it out to anyone. I have become an intelligent young woman who flourishes, but I still have my moments.

Did I tell you? We have found our Gift, we are good at something sweetie. We may not be the best, but we have a great passion writing. Ok! Maybe, still working on it, working on a writing project for next year….if we make it through.

As of right now, I’m just content with life. It’s not the best or the worst, but it is mine and I want to make the best of it. 

I still have my moments. I’m not always happy, I have sad days and my angry days. Occasionally, sadness may overwhelm me. I’m working on myself though, I want to be a happier and healthier version of us in a few years. There’s something inside of me that needs to be healed or at least fixed, and I want to do that before our 2017 birthday. It’s still months away. 

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The Year 2016

I promise you, we will have a better life than before. We will be someone who our Mom and Dad will be proud of. We will succeed, where others have failed. We will be brave, where others have lost courage. We will have strength, where others have been weak. We will have a Guide, where others had no one.

I am working for a better life for us to live. We will have one.

We should thank our God for making it this far. 

Until next time.

#LiveandLearn

 

 

 

 

To The Girl Who Has Ever Felt Unappreciated.

 

The struggle is real when you feel broken. Heartbreak? Goodbyes? Growing up? It’s all hard. Trusting God to work everything out in His time may be one of the biggest struggles that we face as young people. We are told in the bible so many times to just trust the Lord, so why do we constantly battle what He already has planned out? It is so hard to learn from mistakes, to realize that some things are lessons to be learned, and to discover that what we thought was perfect….isn’t. 

unappraciated3I have personal struggles, bad days, and trouble seeing the rainbow in the storm. In these moments, I feel lost. I have to always remember who I am living for. Let’s be honest here….I struggle to remember that storms don’t last forever. Battling the inner voices in our heads telling us we aren’t good enough, and slowly one by one picking our flaws that we hate about ourselves begin to make up who we are.

unappraciated1Each and every one of us are worthy of a love so magical we can’t even see straight. We all have a love story waiting for us. We all have a future ahead of us. We all have a God that loves and provides for us. Why can’t we all believe that? Let’s not let this challenge of trusting God with all of our anxieties and doubts be on our minds. 

When you feel unwanted, not beautiful and sad remember his name and don’t ever go back. That one who hurt you doesn’t deserve your heart and you don’t deserve to feel that way….at all. Sometimes when you feel like your world is falling apart, you feel as if you just can’t shed another tear. God says your world will be okay. Your hurt won’t go away overnight, but it will be OKAY!

unappraciated2When God leads you to someone, it’s for a reason. Just as He lead someone out of your life, it’s for a reason. Some days I struggle to believe that. Saying goodbye to someone may mean both healing and hurting. Saying goodbye makes your heart hurt all while it’s helping you see the plan God has. 

Surrounding yourself around people that love you, value your heart are the kind of people God has meant to be in your life. Don’t even waste your time or tears on someone who doesn’t value your passionate heart. Through these moments that’s when you should trust in God more because He fulfills His promises and His promise was to make you into everything He meant you to be. I can’t wait for that day it all becomes clear.

unappraciated4There will be moments in this life worth waiting and living for, so I will wait with grace for those moments to make me smile. To me, love is doing the laundry together, laughing at nerdy jokes and snuggling in silence on the couch. I’ll gladly wait for that love. 

Sometimes we need to just stop and be held by God. 

Ladies, remember your worth and don’t ever let a sad moment rule your life. You will not be broken. Don’t cry over the boy who made you feel like a used piece of notebook paper. Don’t settle for half-way kind of love…..you deserve the world, and God will give it to you. Believe that! I choose to believe that. 

#LiveandLearn

 

Boy Meets Girl

Boy meets girl 

Boy falls in love with girl

stefan-1Boy dates girl and the relationship is great for a while.

Boy has an issue and breaks up with girl

Girl cries day and night because heartbreak hurts.

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Boy is happy because he got rid of her

Girl moves on

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Boy moves on.

6 months later.

Boy starts with the ‘Hi. I miss you’ texts.

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..and the ‘can we meet up’ text. 

Can we have a drink’ texts

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But God Says: “Because of where I’m taking you, there are people from the past coming back to you. Be careful. I’ve already shown you who they are.”

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