1. Things will get really hard at times, but they will always get better. If they don’t feel like they are, ask for help.
2.If someone treats you poorly it has nothing to do with ‘sensitive’ you. They are the problem. Not you. Oh man, what a beautiful lesson this was.
3.Home isn’t always where you grew up. For some of us, its not where our relatives are, or its not where we have childhood memories, it’s more of where you find peace.
4.We need to experience toxic relationships to shine a light on the blind spot of our self esteem. The most painful lesson of 2016, but the one I am grateful for. I blamed myself a lot for having a big heart, but not anymore. My big heart might love easily and hard but its a blessing. We need dark people to show us the light. We need to be torn down to rebuild ourselves.
5.Rather than blaming people for staying in tough situations, we should try to show them the way out. Based on lessons number 4, when I felt that it was my fault that I was in a tough spot, I simultaneously felt that I deserved it. This sparked a vicious cycle of feeling unworthy and helpless until I suffered a downward spiral. It took a lot of self reflecting and phone calls to my mother to realize that I had a choice. It’s easy to see this on the outside – “oh if you’re in this bad spot, why don’t you just leave?” But the thing is I felt I couldn’t because I was blamed for being in it in the first place. Many of you won’t really know what I mean until you find yourself in this position because I sure as hell didn’t realize it until this year. But when people started telling me it wasn’t my fault and I was worth more, that is when I took the initiative to leave. I also had to forgive myself for staying for so long – this was crucial.
6.You can always pack up all your things and you can leave. You’re allowed to be miserable and make a change. You are in complete control over your life. Don’t stay where you feel unappreciated.
7.Do things before you’re ready. This has been the absolute best thing I did this year were the things I wasn’t ready. Starting a blog and writing my first book ever. If I kept waiting, I would have never done it. I just went for it!! Don’t be scared that you wont do well, if it matters to you, it’s better than you do it and fall than to not do at all.
8.Sometimes your first impressions are right but people will convince you otherwise. In other words, go with your gut.
9.It’s good to put yourself first as long as you are not putting everyone else last.
10.Letting go of friendships does not make you a bad friend.
11.Although we grow frustrated at it, life’s timing is never “off”. I’m a big believer in fate. I know not everyone is. I think we can all agree though in hindsight that the thins we “missed out on” either led us to something better or helped us grow as a person. There’s a silver lining in every hardship.
12.You’ll find you are much less tired when you do the work that matters to you.
13.Don’t forget where you came from. Taking in the pain and beauty of 2016 will make for an even better and more hopeful 2017. Cheers to the rest of this year, that’s remaining and to the beginning of a brand new one.