Sex might be a strictly physical activity for some people, but not for me. I can’t hook up with just anyone and I can’t just walk away once I’ve slept with someone. In my life, sex is more emotional than it is physical.
I don’t think I have ever had meaningless sex. Every person I have slept with, I’m 100% sure I was attracted to them. Sex just isn’t appealing if it doesn’t mean something. Modern dating might be all about keeping things casual, but that doesn’t for me and I’m not going to change myself just to conform to society. I’m a relationship girl. I don’t want random hookups or friends with benefits. The only man I want in my bed is one I truly care about. I want him to mean something and vice versa.
For me, sex is an expression of love. That’s how I feel and I’m entitled to my own opinion. Maybe some people can have sex without being in love with someone and more power to them, but that’s just not me. In my life, sex is the was I physically express my love and it always will be.
And like I said before, I have to be emotionally attracted to be turned on physically by him. If I don’t have feelings for a guy then no matter how hot he is, i just don’t feel that sense of arousal. I know that a lot of people maybe even most people don’t feel that way, but at the end of the day, my point of arousal is directly related to emotions and not physical attributes.
Also, I have realized sex makes breakups so much harder. Every person I’ve slept with I also had a serious relationship with. I gave them my heart and my body and I don’t take that lightly, so my breakups that involved sex were a lot harder to get over. It was hard for me to accept that I had given all of myself to someone and then was eventually rejected. I can’t just brush it off. For me, sex intensifies everything.
And come on, if I don’t feel good on the inside, it definitely won’t feel good on the outside. The truth is, my body just rejects physical acts with a man I don’t have real feelings for. I need to feel good about not only who he is, but also how I feel about him. Before we jump into bed, I want to take the time to make sure my heart is ready because if it’s not, the whole sexual encounter is just going to feel wrong.
He needs to also be attracted for who I am and not just my body. I’m hell of a lot more than just a pretty face and I have a lot mote potential than being good in bed. I want someone to be with me because they fell in love with my personality not because of how I am in the sack. I’m funny, sarcastic, smart and sassy. I’m so much more than a warm body and I deserve a man who sees that.
And the stronger my feelings are for a man, the better the sex we have. At the beginning of a relationship, when I’m falling in love with a man, the sex is mind-blowing. We’re connected emotionally and that allows us to connect better physically. When a relationship is headed towards the end, though, the sex changes. I don’t feel as satisfied because we’re losing our connection.
Sex is a serious relationship step for me. It’s not just casual and expected. No man should expect sex from me just because we’re dating. I want my heart to catch before my body goes too far because having a sexual relationship with someone only increases my attachment and affection for them. It makes everything more serious because at its core is an emotional connection stronger than a physical one.
But what’s most important. I’m not going out in the world looking for good sex. I’m looking for love. That’s the goal here. I don’t just want good a sexual partner, I want something that means a lot more – true love and companionship.