Things I Regularly Encounter When I Decide To Date

I try. I try really hard to still believe in this thing called ‘Love’ but the more I witness and personally experience in regards to dating and love, the more I realize that my pessimism is more than warranted.

So here are some things I regularly encounter:

When I first heard of [1] ghosting, I thought it was a rare phenomenon. Who were these awful, evil guys running around stringing women along, then dropping off the face of the earth? Were they raised by wolves. What is their problem? Then it happened to me one two many times. But the one I remember was a guy who swept me off my feet, charmed the pants off me for a year, then disappeared only to return a year later asking if I wanted to get together. WTF!!! I politely reminded him that he had ghosted me one year ago, he can get together with someone else.

Then there’s being [2] benched-you know, when you have to be the cause of another woman being benched. Although I have never being benched. What had happened was, a guy I liked told me: “I’m interested in both of you. But I’ve put things on hold with her to see where things go with you.” I’m sorry. WTF!! After an argument about what he was doing and him denying that he was benching her, that was the end. I’m assuming he went back to her – until he found someone else for whom he could bench her again.

I realized, [3] lying, especially when it comes to dating, love and relationships, is nothing new. But come the hell on! If you’re going to lie to me about where you were, what you were doing, and who you were with, cover your tracks! Don’t let yourself get tagged in an Instagram or Facebook photo. While I don’t advocate for lying, I can say that no woman would let herself get caught in a lie, because we’re smart enough to plan it all out properly!

So there I am texting a guy and then he just stops responding. For days. When I hear from him again, I get the whole, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t see your texts because I wasn’t near my phone.” Oh, really? This is 2017 (it happened then); we’re all in some serious relationships with our phones and, boy, I saw you liking photos on IG and retweeting crap on Twitter, but go ahead and tell me again you didn’t see my texts. You straight-up [4] ignored me; at least own up to that crap.

On the flip side of being ignored, when I’ve decided that things aren’t working out with a guy, even if we’ve only dated a couple time, [5] I get called a whore for it. Sometimes a bitch. Me taking the high road to say I’m not interested, as opposed to ghosting, leads to me being insulted. And disgustingly, if I took the low road and ghosted them instead, I’d get the same response. It’s really hard for women to win in this dating game; we’re all a whore when we piss off a guy.

Then when love  starts to fade or few arguments here and there, shaking up the relationship a bit, [6] you’re passed over for someone “better”. When the wording of, “I met someone better for me” is thrown at you. Okay then, you met them, then leave. TF! You don’t have to be all up in my face with that.

I had this one guy in my life who would tell me he loved me regularly, but it’s was a word he used on his own terms. [7] Being told “I love you” when it’s convenient for them. He knew if he told me, I’d respond with, “I know” as usual. But on the few occasions I said it to him without being prompted by him first, he’d pull away for a few days as if I’d told him I have the plague. It was so much like clockwork that it became a joke with our friends: “Oh, I haven’t heard from so-and-so for a few days.” “You told him you loved him again?” “Yep. Although he told me he loved me a couple hours before, so I thought I was in the clear this time.

Lastly, [8] having to hear “I’m not looking for anything serious” over and over and over again. Yeah, dudes, I get it. You’re not looking for anything serious – unless you find that woman who looks like she’s been torn from the pages of Vogue and is willing to suck your junk 50 times a day. Oh, believe me, I get it. Groan. Eye roll. Groan.

I’m sure there are more, but these are mostly experienced by many girls out there. Share you encounters in the comment if you wanna.

#liveandlearn

 

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