Maybe I Had To Make All These Bad Choices So I Can Finally Understand My Own Heart

My dad told me that I should wait for the man who can give me the world; a man who could love me the way he loves me but he always made me feel like I was never good enough.

My mom always told me pick the one who loves you more because loving too much can break you and you should always play it safe but then she followed her heart and never her own advice.

My friends always told me pick the one who is sure about you but then they all chased after the guys they wanted.

And I listened to all of them, I picked the man who wanted to give me the world but it was a world I didn’t want to live in — a world I didn’t belong to. And then I picked the one who loved me more but I always felt like I was settling because my heart didn’t flutter every time I saw him and my eyes didn’t see my future in his.

And then I went for the one who was sure about me only to drown in my own uncertainty and it never felt right. It never felt natural. So I stopped. And I decided that I’ll forget what they told me and listen to the beat of my heart because sometimes I’m the only one who can hear its rhythm and sometimes I’m the only one who can hear the music and maybe I had to make all these bad choices so I can finally understand that no matter what anyone says my heart will always choose love and it won’t be defined by anyone other than me. And maybe all these bad choices enlightened me to find a new meaning and a kind of love I can understand. A kind that makes sense to me even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else



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