Short Story: 2:00A.M. Dreams (Part 2)

Continuation of my story of how I felt when I lost my friend in 2009. I dream of him sometimes and thought I should write it down. Click here for Part 1

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I pulled myself up onto the bed and hugged him. I did not want to let him go. I wasn’t ready. “I love you” my voice was shaking and my throat hurt from all the screaming and crying. I lay there sobbing on his still chest trying my hardest to find his heartbeat in the melancholy silence.

Suddenly, I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder. It was my best friend Ruth. She did not say anything. She just stood there, gazing pitifully into my eyes. I got up as she pulled me into her arms. “I’m so sorry” she whispered. That short cliche phrase caused an explosion in my chest. It was like a confirmation of what was happening and I just wasn’t ready to accept the truth.

‘No! this can’t be!” I cried still frozen in her hug. “I just can’t….I can’t do this without him.’

“I know it hurts…” her voice was very soothing. “But you can do it. We will do it together.”

When I met Antony, Ruth was always there when we had relationship issues. Yes, at some point in life, Antony and I dated.

“No…no” Every word was a struggle. “You don’t get it!” I cried.

“I do! I promise you that you’re strong enough to get through this. I know you loved him but he wouldn’t want to see you this way. He would want you to live on.” I could sense it was hurting her to see me this way. She slowly released me from her warm hug, back into the cold and bitter reality, taking a step back leaving me standing beside the metal hospital bed.

Once again, I gazed at Antony. I wanted to carve his face into my memory forever. His temp fade ragged black hair that when cut to perfection, made his dark eyes pop and sparkle like stars every time he saw me. His beautiful full lips that kissed me with so much love and tenderness, and his cute dimples every time he smiled at me. His big arms for a nineteen year old boy that kept me feeling safe in the darkest days and nights.

I can’t imagine not being able hearing his cute laugh, his sweet voice anymore. I will miss the goodnight calls and the morning texts. The way he used to pull me close and stare deep into my eyes. Those random hugs and kisses. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. When I was with him I felt like nothing else mattered.

I stood there motionless. For a second it was like time froze. The rain water from my braids was dripping down my spine. I could barely breathe from crying so much. The tears were still streaming down my face like tiny waterfalls and in my head, I kept replaying the moments I spent with him. Every flashback made me die a little more

How am I going to live without him? He was everything to me. He was my all.

#liveandlearn

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Things My Father Taught Me #2

Things have changed.

You can’t compare the 1960’s to now.

You live in a world filled with people offering quick fixes to your problems, your pain, your weight and everything else in between.

But all the good things that are worth the blood, sweat and tears, seem to come along for the ride.

If you want to achieve something, then you have to be ready to accept all that comes with that goal.

No shortcuts. No cheating.

Most importantly, you have to be patient with yourself.

– things my father taught me.

Memories

 

Can I run? Can I hide?

From all this pain I feel inside.

Why can’t I let the memories go?

Maybe I loved him much more than anyone will know. 

He took me to the moon and back and I can’t deny it felt good in every way.

The hurt is bad, the wound is deep,

The heart aches from the promises he couldn’t keep

It’s my fault and I wish I had known

You played our game and here I’m left alone

I’m loosing the war,

It’s a battle in my mind.

These emotions are too much to bare,

I’m blinded I can’t see you care.

I smile during the day, But at night it doesn’t work my way!



Hi Readers, August has not been a good month for me. Lemme just say 2016 hasn’t been a good year for me. I have experiences lose, meaning people leaving walking out. Existing my life. I don’t know but maybe there’s a reason as to why that is happening. Maybe they did not like the ME I present. 

I can’t beg them to stay either.

Anyways, just about to leave work and I just start typing what am feeling at the moment and I dint know I can write a poem. My first Poem. Tell me what you think.

#LiveandLearn