I May Be Soft But It Is Not My Weakness

I have  been told that I am too soft more times than I can remember. I am too soft because I carry my heart on my sleeve for anyone who will show me a little bit of kindness. I am too soft because I give those who hurt me chances once, twice, three times and even four. I am too soft because I forgive easily and I forget too quickly. I am too soft because my heart aches when I see someone enduring even a tiny amount of pain. I am too soft because I am too friendly – as if being friendly is a bad thing. I am too soft because I will do things for those I love without questioning whether they’d do the same for me. I am too soft because I love too much and too deeply. I am too soft because I let those I love take me for granted time and time again. I am too soft because I let them break me even though I never would.

Truth is, I am not soft. I am strong.

I am strong because even after I endure the worst kind of pain, I manage to heal. I am strong because I go into the depths of despair and rise stronger, bolder and wiser than ever before. I am strong because I use my voice as a way to empower myself and others. I am strong because I helped myself get back up again. I am strong because I wiped my tears and plastered my own wounds. I am strong because I didn’t rely on anyone else to save me. I am strong because I saved me. I am strong because despite it all I am still here, I am still smiling and I am happier than I’ve ever been. I am strong because I found myself in so many ways throughout it all. I am strong because I have the power to love myself, because I am here for myself. I am strong because I will never give up on me.

I know I may be soft but it is not my weakness, it is my strength. Because even though I am soft, I am strong and isn’t then a wonderful thing? 

#liveandlearn

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To Whom This May Concern

Be careful of the ones with tight grips. The ones who are scared to let you go. The ones who think losing you will remove the air from their lungs if you never come back. insecurity does well to disguise itself as love, but love doesn’t fear freedom, it grows flowers from it.

#liveandlearn

Maybe We Can’t Find Love Because We’re Only Looking For Attention

I don’t understand when the shift happened. When did love switch from being a sacred bond between two people to a game of who can break more hearts and who cares less? When did love switch from commitment, loyalty, and communication to no strings attached, cheating, and ghosting?

Maybe it’s because social media replaced the real world so now people are searching for more followers, more likes and more ways to show that their lives are picture-perfect instead of looking at the bigger picture.

Maybe it’s because the ego replaced the heart so people don’t love for the sake of loving, they love for the sake of feeling good about themselves, they love for the sake of instant gratification and they love for the sake of constant validation.

We don’t want solid communication anymore, we just want to receive as many texts as possible from multiple people even if no one can truly read us. We want as many notifications as possible even if no one is really noticing us. We’re obsessed with numbers and competitions that we sometimes forget what we’re really fighting for.

We send screenshots to our friends just to show them how much we’re wanted and how many people are ‘chasing’ us but we end up feeling all alone at night, with no to call or anyone who genuinely cares.

I don’t know what it is but I know that we’re all seeking attention more than ever and the smallest setback makes us so insecure so we use people to make us feel secure again and reassure us that we’re important. We’re all wanting things and people we can’t have and it’s becoming a race and a game nobody is winning.

#liveandlearn

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Do Not Mistake Passion For Love. One Feeds You, The Other Leaves You Starving

There was a girl, she grew up different from the rest of the girls in her neighborhood. She would do everything that was forbidden just for the sake of the excitement she felt. She thought of herself as someone not ordinary, not basic. Not someone who would settle down for a mediocre life like the rest of the girls.

One day she faced a similar choice. Between a man who told her in most ordinary way, in a trembling voice, “I will always love you, I will never let you down.” And a man who pulled her close and whispered in her ears the most passionate words, “I will make your head spin. I will be mad, and you’ll be crazy in love.” 

Without doubt she chose the second man. And the first man, he had his heart broken by the only girl he ever loved.

The two of them left the town. They eloped in the middle of the night and made a house somewhere near the town. It had a mattress for bed, kitchen and a good fire. They spent many good days in that house, making love. But as reality settled down on the lovers, the fire didn’t burn so bright.

She realized to her horror that as the days passed, her life became that of an ordinary girl. There was no more thrill, no adventure. She started craving again for something bigger than herself, than her ordinary life. She started remaining sad, and the man said in his dreamy voice, “there’s no spark left in you” and left.

She came back to her town, and was surprisingly taken in by her parents. She had lost all hope, but something bad changed in her for good. 

One day , while returning from the market she saw the man who loved her. He saw her too. He had heard storied about her. She went out of her way to talk to him. He was kind, and still trembled a little. Then out of nowhere she said, “You are still kind to me, why?” 

“Because I loved you and I may always do even when you don’t.” 

She smiled and said, “do you know what I have learned? That passion is a good fire but love is a steady warmth. One burns out, the other takes you in on a cold day.” 

I have seen people give up food for booze, money for drugs. Humans, we, have a knack for self-destruction. I have seen them reject a lifetime kinda-love for a fleeting affair. It’s the everyday life, ain’t?

#liveandlearn

Because I Was Mad

I wonder if the things people say when they’re mad are really the way they feel or if they just wait until they’re mad to have the guts to say it? I wonder if they know that when words are spoken in anger, they leave scars. The verbal wound is just as bad as the physical one. 

In most cases it’s actually worse because words don’t die. Sure we can brush some things off, but when it hurts, no matter what we do, the words seem to echo, and the feeling always seems to linger. It’s like you can put a knife in a person and take it out. But it won’t matter how many times you say i’m sorry, the wound will still be there.

Our hearts may forgive, but our minds never forget. It’s only so many times, ‘i was mad,’ should be used as a person’s excuse not to control their temper. Anger is an internal force; it starts within and ends within. Sometimes it’s as elementary as counting to ten. Think first.

Just my thoughts, good people. Just my thoughts. 

#liveandlearn

Sex Won’t Keep Him

Sleeping with him won’t make him stay. At least not the way you want him to anyway. Even when it’s 3 am and all you want is to feel his skin against yours like an addict aches for his drugs, don’t do it. You have been there before.

I’ve met many women who have had sex with men thinking that they would keep them. Thinking that by some miracle it will bring him closer to her. This is an honest mistake that women and probably men too, make, however, I’m speaking from the female perspective on this one. Sorry boys. Some men can be deceiving. They treat you nice, tell you all that you want to hear. They drip honey into your ears. They know how to get into your panties. They have become so good at it, that they can have you drop them as quickly as they drop you after you give up the goodies. This fucking sucks! By then you’re probably head over heals for him. 

This is one of the worst things that can happen to your self confidence. You are probably all in your head thinking about what you did wrong. “Was I not good in bed. Am I not good enough” Stop it right there. Babe, you didn’t do anything wrong. He just didn’t care about your feelings.

You see, someone who cares about you won’t use you in that way. He will respect you and be his true authentic self around you. He will give you the honest choice to make the decision to sleep with him. No gimmicks, no sweet talk, and none of the bullshit he puts on to get pussy. That’s the honest truth. Also, remember that men are much better at living in the moment than women.

When the right man comes along, he will respect you. He will respect your choice to protect your heart and get to know him before you sleep with him. Your self love and worth would be good enough for him, and if you do sleep with him, it will be special. He will give you the choice to make that decision based on his true intentions and that is an man worth fighting for. Do you agree?

#liveandlearn