Gosh. Some Guys Though!

Some guys though, they love to cook and can even cook better than many girls, but will never cook as long as a female friend or girlfriend is around. Some will come to the kitchen but instead of helping or being sweet, they make you feel like your mama didn’t train you well.

I remember my ex always bragged about cooking better than I do and even his brothers and friends say he is a great cook but in three years of our relationship I never tasted this guy’s food, not even indomie!

Abeg, a man that will avoid his hobby just to put a woman in her place, is that one a man? And we still have them in this century. Worse is when you hear some overgrown boys saying that delusional phrase “issa man’s world.”


What about the guys that love to shake hands over and over with fellow guys but always ignore to shake hands with the ladies in the midst.

I mean how can you walk into a lounge, shake hands with my male colleague (whom you are also meeting for the first time), even have a 4 seconds chat with him, wave at me like I’m deaf and dumb kid, then shake and greet the guy sitting after me. Who does that?

Weak ass guys. Some think that’s the safest way to greet and avoid awkward moments but it simply means they have no balls.

Talking about ass and balls. Why is it hard for guys to take it that a boxer or any underwear in contact with their ass and balls and stuff, should not be worn for more than a day and half. They will be the ones monitoring a girl’s level of neatness but they don’t even own more than four boxers. Some combine their boxes as house shorts and wear it for days before changing.

Men need to know that women see boxers the same way men see panties, so we expect them to be changed and washed very often and not to be smelling like prison sex.

Lmao…prison sex? How did you know the smell?

If you want to know, go an accidentally sniff on a five days worn boxers of a man who hasn’t shaved in two months.

Gosh. Some guys though…




Why I Write My Thoughts and Feelings

I write only because there is a voice within me that will not be still.” – Sylvia Plath

Every writer has their own different reason behind why they write, but the very common, simple reason that we write is because we must. You’ll find that almost every writer suffers from a mind that constantly dances in a storm of thoughts and a heart that beats too fast and too hard; simply put, we write because if we didn’t, we’d go insane. As Isaac Asimov perfectly put it, “I write for the same reason I breathe – because if I didn’t, I would die.

My inspiration comes from nowhere but inside myself. I write because I feel driven to, and it is the way I prefer to get through my life. I’ve always been fascinated by words and the power and beauty they hold, and I’ve found that words are the best way to express what I can’t bring myself to say aloud.

When I write, I write because I am at the peak of my emotions. I write when I am lost, when I am exhilarated, when I am heartbroken beyond relief, when I am feeling infinite; what I am trying to say is, my inspiration lies in my emotions. I personally am someone who feels too deeply but tends to speak my mind too rarely, so writing is, in some sense, the therapy for my soul. I write for pleasure and I write for necessityI write because I like to, I want to, and I need to.

I also write to inspire; sometimes the most troubled souls cannot find solace in writing, so I write in hope that those hearts will find solace in reading instead. I write to not only keep myself sane but to keep others sane as well; no matter how amateur or plain my writing may be, I write in hopes that my words are powerful enough to save someone’s soul.

The bottom line is this: I write because I must, and because words are what keep me moving forward. I write for myself and I write for others; I write to live a little more deeply, love a little more strongly, and feel a little more powerfully.

You could leave in the comment why you write. You don’t have to, but if you want to. Plead leave a comment.


When Times Are Rough, I Convince Myself Otherwise – (To Those Who Might Need A Reminder)

You know what? The world is so goddamn beautiful. It is so absolutely wonderful and mesmerizing and extraordinary. And so are you.

I know life gets a little difficult to deal with sometimes. I know times get rough and things seem to crash down on us, leaving us hopeless and absolutely scared; but you know what? That’s the reality of life. Pain is inevitable. We’re all going to get our hearts broken. We’re all going to get saddened to the point where we think we’ve got nowhere to go. We’re all going to cry tears that could form waterfalls. We’re all going to drown, one point or another.

But here’s the thing. There’s another truth of life that many of us seem to ignore and forget. Happiness is a choice.

See, we’re all going to be sad. Okay. Makes sense, right? It’s just how the world works. It’s just how life works. But what about being happy? We get to decide if we want to get back up when we fall. We get to decide if we want to wipe our tears and put a smile on our face while facing our demons. We get to decide if we choose to make more out of life than what we get. We get to decide on happiness or on pain.

And I’m telling you – I’m reminding you – to make the right choice. Choosing happiness seems like the obvious decision, yet so many of us forget to make this choice. So here I am, telling you to be happy. I know, harder than it sounds. But you know what? It isn’t impossible, either.

To those of you who have fallen down, to those of you who feel as if you are drowning in a sea of sadness, listen to me when I say to get back up. Get back up and look at the world around you. Look at your life, and when I say look, I mean take a really close and good look at what you’ve got. Count the people who love you. Look at your past. How many tough times did you get through? How many times in the past had you thought you wouldn’t be able to survive the war you were fighting in? How many times have you proven yourself wrong?

Look at how far you’ve made it. Look at how many tears you’ve shed and look at how many battles you’ve won. Look at how many things you’ve endured and survived and look at how strong you’ve become. You are a fighter, you are a soldier who is winning the war of life. And you can’t give up now. I know there are days when you just want to give it all up, when all you can do is cry and scream into the air of emptiness and oblivion, but what hurts now probably won’t even matter in months from now, years from now. So look at how much you’ve gotten through in the past, and look forwards to the future. Imagine a beautiful future for yourself. Dare yourself to dream of a happy ending to this story of yours, dare yourself to believe that you find the happiness you are desperately seeking. 

Listen, I get it. You go through things during the day that eat at you, you feel things that gnaw at your heart and make you feel as if you’re breaking over and over again. But take a quick moment and just press PAUSE. What are you crying about? What are you sad about? Is what you’re so hyped up about really important? In some cases, the answer is yes. Maybe you’ve lost a loved one, maybe you’ve suffered a great loss. You can mourn, I understand. But make sure that you don’t stop living. And to those who become emotional over the small things and let these small things ruin your whole day, I’m telling you, I’m begging you, please stop. Stop torturing yourself. Stop getting caught up in things that won’t even matter in 24 hours. Stop getting caught up in emotions that unnecessarily tear you apart. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

Look at this world. Look at all the opportunities that are around you. Look at all that you can do, all that you can feel, all that you can be. The world is so much bigger than you realize, life is so much more than it seems like it is to you right now. So don’t you understand? You’ve got to smile. You’ve got to laugh. Listen to good music. Read a moving book. Watch a fantastic movie. Go out with your friends. Spend time with your family. Indulge yourself in your passions and your hobbies. Dance. Sing. Paint. Write. Live life the way it ought to be lived. Love yourself and love the ones around you; block out the negative emotions and let the positive vibes in only. And when you get sad, it’s okay – you’re only human. But remember, in the words of the wise Alfred and Bruce Wayne: “why do we fall? To learn to pick ourselves back up again.” So fall, but make sure to get back up. Never give up. Because this world is beautiful and this life is wonderful and there are so many reasons and ways to laugh and smile and be happy – and you deserve all of it. You deserve the world. Never forget that.

Just thought that this might be something people ought to remember on their bad days.

In Love With This World,



Check Out My Social Media

This is my first time to blog about my social media details here. I’m not a fan of photos, so what you get on my social pages are more of thoughts and feelings. I’m trying to perfect my writing skills, so I write when I can. I ink down something small to share as days go by. My inspiration is to hopefully touch a soul out there with my words because they do come from the heart.

Please drop your social media links in the comments so we can all check you out!

Instagram: whispers_ofmythoughts

Twitter: @livingandlearningwithdoreen

Facebook Page: @livingandlearningwithdoreen

Wishing you a lovely month of April

A Letter Of Reminders To Myself On My Birthday (which is today: 2nd March)

Dear Me,

Let’s make this year a little different.

Learn to define yourself not by the mistakes you’ve made, but by where you go from them.

I know you’ve got a list a mile high of what you feel are losses, but remind yourself you’re not a quitter. You write your own rules, change the game if you need to. If you are unhappy with where you are then move.

Learn that just because you haven’t been loved in the way you deserve doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it. That just because some people found it hard to love you doesn’t mean you’re not easy to love. Repeat this to yourself. I can still be loved, I can still be loved. Love yourself so much that you don’t feel the wanting from loneliness. Love yourself so much it doesn’t matter who broke your heart in the past or who breaks your heart next. Love yourself so much you become complete. Love yourself so much you stop accepting anything less than what you need. Love yourself so much you stop accepting any less even from yourself.

Look in the mirror. The person you see standing in front of you is the love of your life. Feed her just as much as you’ve fed the mouths who bit chunks out of you. Find the places from which they did, kiss them and let them heal.

Tell yourself you’re more than the sum of all the wounds you’ve acquired through the years. That you’re more than all the things that have ever happened to you. Face those things, stop trying to bury the things you wish you could forget. Remember them, even when it hurts, steal back from them your power. You’re more than the things some monsters stole in the dark.

Remind yourself that self-preservation isn’t the same as being selfish. Love yourself first. Choose yourself first. Make yourself happy first. Save yourself first.

Stop looking for love in all the wrong places. Look for love inside of yourself, happiness in its purest form can really only come from within.

Stop putting yourself down and selling yourself short. Speak to yourself in a kinder voice. You have the whole world inside of you. Anyone can tell you this but it doesn’t mean anything and it isn’t true unless you believe it. You are rare. You are beautiful. You can do anything.

Stop being chewed up by mouths that will forget your name.

Be grateful for your accomplishments and work for those you still yearn for. You got this. This year tune out the voice that says you can’t.

Take care of yourself. No one else will do it for you. No one else can do it better.

Think about the rosy-cheeked, head full of curls little girl you once were. What would she say to you today? What were the things she always wanted to have? Would you treat her like you treat yourself now?

Do what makes you happy. It’s as simple as that.

Darling, you don’t need anyone but yourself. Anything you’ve needed has always been inside you.

Make this your year.

Think about how a year from now you can look back and think I’ve come so far.



12 Things I Would Want My Ex To Know

“I wish I could tell you in person, but I cannot.”

@my ex: I wish you would have appreciated me when you had me instead of deciding to appreciate me once I left.

@my ex: I wish you would’ve let me know my worth instead of fighting for it.

@my ex: I wish you did not just want me and the other girls you dated for their bodies. Look at the qualities the girls have in their minds

@my ex: Wish you understand what you did is classified as abuse

@my ex: I hope you see someday why I had to end things with you. We were in two different points in our lives and we didn’t need to hold each other back.

@my ex: I wish someday you would realize how much you really fucked me up. No girl should ever be treated the way you treated me.

@my ex: I wish you would have loved me like I loved you.

@my ex: I wish you put in more effort.

@my ex: I wish you could have communicated directly to me instead of your friends.

@my ex: Using other people will not fix you or fill you, it just creates more emptiness within you and those you claim to love.

@my ex: You never appreciated all that I did for you. I am so grateful God showed me the light and allowed me to see life without you would be so much better for me. Now I am happier than I ever was with you.

@my ex: I hope all is well for you, and I hope that you’re really still happy, and that whatever you’ve chosen to do takes you far.


My Word For 2018

Years pass on, and we grow. But every year is different in its own way. Some years break us, and some years shape us. 2017 came in both ways, but God let me bend, but He did not let me break.

I feel like the past year I was stagnant. I just don’t feel like I was committed to any one thing with my whole being. I just sort of…well, fell all over the place too much to be organized even though I got a few things done.

For 2018, I thought I’d do something different and choose a Word of the Year for myself.

DO is my word.

From Shonda Rhimes book – Year of Yes, which is my other book of the month, she says, DITCH THE DREAM. BE A DOER, NOT A DREAMER. Maybe you know exactly what you dream of being. Or maybe you’re paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is. The truth is, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to know. You just have to keep moving forward. You have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn’t have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring, and dreams are not real. Just…..DO.

You think, “I wish I could travel” – you sell your crappy car and buy a ticket and go to Bangkok right now. I’m serious. You say, “I want to be a writer” – guess what?  A writer is someone who writes every day. Start writing. Or: you don’t have a job? Get one. ANY JOB. Don’t sit at home waiting for the magical dream opportunity. Who are you? Prince William? No. Get a job. Work. Do until you can do something else.”

From that, I decided in 2018, everyday I will DO one thing that is good for me. Even if i don’t want to. Even when it’s the last thing I want to do. I’m not asking myself to change my routine; instead I’m challenging myself to make one tiny adjustment per day.

What is your word for the year?