The Dream I keep Having. Does It Have Any Meaning?

Should I say good Morning or goodnight? It’s 3am in my country Kenya.Whichever time zone you in, ‘Jambo’ (Hello). 
I cannot sleep!
See, I had a very scary dream and it woke me up. Have you ever dreamt of falling into an endless hole? You just keep falling but you don’t hit the ground?I have been having the same dream for sometime now. Everything happens the same way. What does it mean?
I saw myself in a forest. I was lost. I could see that I was with my friends but now that am awake, I don’t remember their faces. I don’t even know who they were.I was dressed in ragged blue jeans, white sleeveless top, a black hoodie with a back pack and no shoes.
We were walking past a cementary and my friend, Nancy, said to me, ‘ Hey, there something behind you. Don’t move’. (In reality I don’t have a friend named Nancy.)
We all know when someone tells you not to move because of something that’s behind you, that’s when the fear jumps into you 110%. Nancy and my other friends were already moving back from what was behind me. I could see the scare in their faces. I was still glued to the ground sweating and panting really hard. I could hear myself.
So I just started running. I don’t know what I was running from but I could feel something breathing at my feet as I ran. Nancy and the others had taken a different road. But the creature that was, seemed to be wanting me. I couldn’t stop running. I kept telling myself, ‘it’s only a dream. It’s only a dream. I knew it was a dream but I couldn’t open my eyes.
I could feel myself stumble in bed and turning but it’s because I was dodging from the hanging branches on my path as I ran.
I had been running for so long when I suddenly tripped and fell in a hole. A dark hole. I saw nothing in there. But I just kept falling. I let my hands free to try hold on to something to stop me from falling but I couldn’t feel anything.‘It’s only a dream. Wake up. Wake up.’ I could hear my thoughts. But my eyes could not open. I tried but nothing.
Then I saw a light deep down the hole. As I fell, the light became bigger and brighter. I thought it was my way out. But just before I could see where the light came from or what it was, I heard a bang, I woke up. Someone in the house was using the washroom and the ‘bang’ was the toilet door.’
I woke up sweating and my heart pounding so hard. I rebuked the dream in the name of Jesus but I cannot sleep now. I believe that dreams that wake you up at night or those that you cannot wake up from, no matter how much you try are not good.
Have you ever had such a dream? The falling into a deep hole dream? What does it mean? It’s not the first time I have dreamt about it. Am scared!

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Camp Hookups – Part 2

click here for part 1

Beep Beep. Her phone vibrated. It was a message from Justin.

‘Are you alone in your cabin? I’m coming over?’ It read.

He figured that she was alone in her cabin because her two friends, Talia and Maya, had come to the boys cabins which was 10 minutes away from theirs. 

When Justin and Andrew walked through the door, she knew something was about to happen. He walked over to her bed but Andrew stayed at the door as lookout.

He took his shoes off and climbed under the covers with her. He snuggled up really close to her but she started doing stuff on her phone to try avoid getting physical with him. It’s not that she didn’t want him. But she was scared of sex and she had high morals. She wanted to stay a virgin until marriage.

He snatches her phone and puts it under the pillow.

“Can I have a kiss” He asks.

“Sure” She leans in

She pecks him on his lips because she knows that if she gives him more it will lead to something more serious.

“Why do you keep stopping?” He asks grabbing her chin.

“I don’t know, I guess I’m nervous” She reply.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about” He says kissing her.

The kiss turned into making out and things escalates very quickly. She brushes her tongue on his upper lip as a tease. He let out a small groan and grabs her ass harder. His hand lowers to her thigh and he pulls off her shorts leaving her in her spanks. ‘Ha! Thought you were going to get me out of my pants.” She thinks to herself.

He pulls her leg over him motioning for her to get on top of him and she did.

He starts kissing and sucking on her neck. She let out a small moan. He then grabs one of her breasts and starts sucking. 

She begins to grind on top of him that she can feel his cock against her. They continue to kiss and fondle one another.

She then suddenly gets off from on top of him because she feels that things are going too far. She tops kissing him but he continues kissing her neck. He grabs her and inserts two fingers, “Shit” She says softly. Then pulls off his hand

She pulls off his shirt and began to lick him down. She does that to tease him because she really doesn’t plan on going any lower than his stomach. It’s torture because he knows she’s not about to give him head.

He then pulls her up and she gets back on top of him. Grinding. Faster and Faster as time goes on. Their making out gets more intense. She grabs his length and begins to rub on it through his pants.

He tries to pull it out that she feels it on her hand. It’s weird because she had never touched one before.

She then immediately pull her hand up and gets off him. ‘Damn! I just ruined the mood’ She said to herself

“What’s wrong?” He says concerned.

“I told you I’m not having sex with you’. She reply.

He laughs. “I wasn’t gonna put it in, just thought you might want to actually touch it. I told you that I respect your values. You don’t need to be scared I would never violate or hurt you. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable”.

She smiles.

He laughs again and leans in to kiss her. She couldn’t understand how the mood had been reset but she wanted him more than ever now. A respectful boy is such a turn on.

They make out some more. And then they just lay there in each other’s arms.

‘My perfect night’ Her thoughts.

It begins to rain. Andrew had already left without them noticing.

“You should go before it starts raining too hard”. She said.

” You sure? I could just stay with you if you want”.

“No its’ okay, I’m tired anyways.” She reply.

“Okay babe.” He says kissing her. “I really like you. Goodnight”

He then leaves.





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Camp Hookups – Part 1


Selena has been crushing on Justin for too long but she had never expressed her feelings to him. He knew she liked him. He knew how she felt about him. And he had told his friends that he’s going to ‘hit that’ during the school camp get-away.

He was in the bad boy crew but he was the sweet and naughty kind. He cared about Selena and he did have feelings for her but only his best friend Andrew knew about it. 


Justin walks over to Selena and immediately she gets nervous. She knew what he’s going to say and try to get her to do. He always loved to play with her mind back in school. Teasing her, making her uncomfortable even with her friends around. 

She enjoyed it though. It kind of made her feel that he liked her too.

He comes up to her face and asks her to take a walk with him. They start walking to the cabin.

“Wassup” Justin says

“Um, nothing much I guess” She reply awkwardly.

“So what’s up with tonight?” He says as he wraps his arm around her waist.

“I don’t know, you tell me” She reply “We’re definitely not having sex though” She adds. 

A look of disappointment came over Justin’s face. She felt bad because she did not like to disappoint people.

“So what are we doing?” He replies.

“Um I don’t know we’ll see where the night take us” She says “and we’re not doing oral either” She adds.

“That’s fine, I’ll respect your wishes babe” he says.

‘Is this boy perfect or what? Any other boy would have found a sluttier girl to have sex with’, Selena’s thoughts.

They stop at the back door of the cabin.

“So, when do I get to kiss you?” Justin Says smirking.

“I don’t know, whenever you’re ready” She reply with a shy smile.

She was freaking out though. But to be honest she wasn’t ready, she had never kissed a boy. She was 16 and never been kissed.

Justin moves closer to her looking in her eyes.

“Oh crap” She thinks to herself

“How about now?” He says smiling

“Um…….” She’s cut off as he leans in.

They kiss.

‘His lips are so freaking soft. Why is he shoving his tongue in my throat?’ Selena’s thoughts.

She pulls away.

“I have never kissed a boy. You’re my first” She says biting her bottom lip.

“I sure can’t tell” he says smirking. 

He then leads her to the cabin.

“Oh shit, shit, shit” Her thoughts again.

She sits on her bed and looks in her phone. He comes to her and takes the phone from her and puts his number in her phone.

“So you can text me later tonight when you’re ready” he said smirking

“Okay” She says standing up.

He doesn’t move from in front of her so they were so close. He then kisses her again and grabs her ass. 

She pulls back.

“We should go back before people start suspecting stuff” She said and they walked out.



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Last Night Confession

I dreamt about her last night. 


I thought she was my soul mate.

Our connection was very different compared to other people.

She was kind, humble and sweet. She cared about me. She was my best friend.

But I was attracted to her. 

I was attracted to her smile, the way she talked to me and how I felt when she was near me. I was attracted to her tattooed body.

She was a tom-boy.

She was dressed in khaki trousers and a white sweat-shirt, underneath it, she wore a black long t-shirt with white converse shoes. Her hair was braided in cornrows and she had a snap-back hat on.

I saw her through my bed room window, walking towards my house.

She had invited me for a dinner date then a night out at a concert with a musician she loved. 

As the taxi arrived to my front porch. She holds my hand and whispers to me, ‘You looking lovely, beautiful’.

I smiled back as I felt my heart sink.

She opened the door for me, we walked towards the taxi as she held me on my waist. I could feel her warm hands on my skin. It gave me chills.

I was dressed in a short black dress that showed a bare back with red converse shoes on, holding a black clutch bag under my armpits with my black jacket in my hands. My make up was simple with purple lipstick. 

She allowed me to enter the taxi first and she followed. 

“You clean up good. You look very nice in that dress”. She said as she leaned towards my face. One hand brushing softly on my back and the other on my thighs. My heart pounded so fast. Then I felt her lips on my lips.

“Doreen, Doreen’, I heard My Dad Calling. “Wake-up, its 6:00am. You know am to travel today. The taxi is waiting. Open the doors for me.” 

“Damn it!” My thoughts.








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My mother’s Daughter


Just Yesterday

Growing up, I never thought that my mother was a PERSON . I could hear of her but not see her. She was just this entity called ‘MOM’.

She became a human being to me, knowing her,  when I was a teenager, after I left high school.


Once I began my life as a ‘grown up’, I understood as to why she gave me up. Not to an orphanage but to my father.


Before I met her

And why she never tried to contact me. Why she never asked about me. She was given orders and she had to make a choice. A better education for me or a life full of struggles. But I began to miss her. I think that’s when I finally got to know her, even though we could only see each other a couple of times a year. She lived in Shianda, in a manyatta house with her other family while I stayed with my father in a huge house with a huge stone fireplace in the middle living room and wrap-around bedrooms. 5 bed-roomed mansion. See, that’s the sacrifice she made for me. A better life than hers.


My father was my blessing. A good Samaritan. My hero.  My everything. He educated me. Fed me.


My father then and now.

Clothed me. Protected me from the enemies and tried as much as possible to get me whatever I wanted. He still does. Even though I was not close with him. I was safe. 

“He was my strength when I couldn’t weak, He was my voice when I couldn’t speak, He was my eyes when I couldn’t see. He saw the best there was in me. Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach. He gave me faith coz he believed. I’m everything I am because He loved me” – Celine Dion

When he met my mother, she was 18 years old and working for him. He had another family and children. But being the best father he is, he made sure all his children knew each other and grew up closer to him.

For the next years after high school. My mother and I became very close. She also had another family too. Another husband and kids. See how am between a big family. On my father’s side, I have 7 half brother/sisters and on my mother’s side I have 6 step bothers/sisters. Weirdly, I was the only one who was born alone. Meaning, no real sister or brother but that doesn’t matter, I got plenty.

I then went to university. Graduated for my degree course and she was the first person on


Mom and I on my graduation day

my list. She was a proud mother and she never regrets about the past. I turned out to be her biggest blessing. With the little job that I have, am able to help her whenever I can. She might still be living the struggling life but happier. Happier than before.



Now “Mom” is 42. We are closer than ever. She phones me often with the opening line, “Hi! It’s your daughter calling.”which I set for her.  She visited during the weekend. How exciting. From Thursday until yesterday. She traveled today. Just talking and seeing her always gives me peace. Hearing her voice around the house when I come from work, “Mum I missed you”. “I missed you too”. Feels good. I never grew up to that. She was never there. But I am grateful shes’s my mother. And my love for her is so deep.

I promised to share some photos with you on her recent visit. Just a few













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There’s no benefit in pride.

She is 32 years old. Her and her ex husband started dating when she was in grade 12. She was 19 years old. They were best friends. She waited until he completed college and started working. Her family and his family then met. They got married and had a son. (7 years old now). 

Her husband was short tempered at times but their problems started when she wanted to make him feel he can’t control her. Everytime they argue, she would pack her bags, go to her family and explain. Her sisters would phone her husband and shout at him. If he was controlling her, she would always dare him for a divorce.  But she never wanted a divorce. She had pride and she never wanted to look like a loser in his eyes. 

One day she pushed him so hard that for the first time he beat her and locked her outside. She went to her family and they took him to the police. She wanted people to see that she’s being abused. And feel sorry for her. But to be honest, she used to abuse her husband emotionally.

He was arrested and detained. She was asked by his family to withdraw the case, they felt that what she was doing was wrong. Her husband was never a violent man, he did what he did because she pushed him to the wall. She withdrew the charges and they reconciled.

After 3 months, she packed her bags after a small issue and he remained alone. 

After two days she received a call that he is in hospital, her family told her that she shouldn’t go there because it will look like she’s begging him and her sisters believed his faking the illness. 

All this time, people felt sorry for her. She was like the one being abused. He spent a week in hospital. 

After he came out, she received a divorce summon. She wanted to say no to divorce but because of her pride, she wanted him to change his mind and beg her. She called him and said, “you will get the divorce because I Iive like am in hell”.

When they were in court, she wanted to make him pay, so she told the court that she needed his properties to be shared. To her surprise he openly told the court that whatever he and her had acquired together should be given to her, all he wanted was a divorce.They got divorced in 2009 July.

Now, her husband is getting married again, while she’s there wasted. Her family gossiped about her. She depends on what her ex gives to her son for survival. She realized she wasted her marriage.

To all the wives/girlfriends around the world: Be careful how you get advise. Don’t be cheated. Even her younger sisters are much more respected than her. Those who encouraged her to divorce are always bad mouthing her. 

It’s doesn’t matter how the situation is. I am not saying not to listen to advice but it’s all about YOU at the end of the day. Your choices. Your way. Your journey. Listen, but listen carefully. Think deep and see if it’s worth it. There’s no benefit in pride. 

This is a perfect example and advise to those dancing in some overrated ego.

Credit:Relationship Matters Forum. (I read this story and I had to share). 






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Mother and Daughter Relation – Final Part (No regrets)

Final part of ‘Mother – Daughter Relations’ series Click here for Part 1Click here for Part 2Click here for part 3 and Click here for part 4

Am sure people out there have more problems than mine. But I thank God for where I am now. He has and still plays a big role in my life. Through His prayers I was able to see my mother again.

Some people will not understand why I say I struggled through growing up. Some will say, why does she feel sorry for herself yet she lived a better life than some of us. Yes, I grew up in a lavish home, with hot water, any kind of food, comfortable bed, getting anything I want and enjoying life. But the most harsh part was that my mother was suffering. I never knew her. I couldn’t help her. 

My father loved me and still loves me. Because of him, I am where I am. Because of him, I look the way I look. Most importantly, am educated. I do not see my father as just my dad but also my hero, my role model, a good Samaritan, heaven sent. Even if I was born out of wedlock, just a house girl’s child, he never let go. No matter what people told him. He believed that maybe I will be something. 

When I was in university, he told me how I should work hard to get that degree. To be able to help my mother someday. To be able to prove some people wrong. The family members that talked bad about my dad for sleeping with a house girl. Those that tried to tell my mother to abort so that I free my dad from the shame. Those that thought a house girl’s child will never make it.

What would I be if he did not take me away from Shianda?  I could have gone into early marriage, that’s one thing am sure of. Uneducated. Unemployed. Maybe get into an abusive relationship because in the village men treat women differently. Well, only God knows that path.

I love my mother more for what she did. She does not regret. She was wise enough to accept it and I thank my father for being patient with me. 

I live this life for my mother and father, I will always support them wherever I can and however I can. For as long as I live.

The End

Pretty Girl Rock I just patted my own back. 










#Liveand Learn




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